February 4

I woke up completely empty. I gave out what God had poured into me yesterday. Desperate to be refilled and renewed, I cried out in prayer, “Lord, I need You. I am desperate for You”. Then came to my memory all of my personal struggles, frustrations, and sins. I confessed my sins and complained to God about my frustrations. He listened. Continuing, I prayed, “Lord, prepare my mind and my heart to receive Your Word, my daily bread. Bless it so that it will nourish my soul. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen”.

Reading today: Romans 7: 1-6
In order to understand life, we must understand death. The passage before this refers to a death to sin. This passage examines another death – to law. When Jesus was quizzed about the greatest commandment His reply was not any of the 10 commandments listed. His reply was on the foundation of all commandments (law) – to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. So in this passage, Paul explains that as Christians, that is, those who have accepted God’s gift through Jesus, we are no longer bound to following the law BECAUSE “we serve in the new way of the Spirit”, (verse 6). Which means because we have the Holy Spirit and Jesus, the burden of the law has been met. Does this mean that the commandments are irrelevant? Think of it this way, we love through Jesus so much that all the commandments are met. We love God with everything we have, therefore there is no room for sin, such as: checking out other people’s wives or husbands, having jealousy for someone else’s blessing, gossiping, lying, watching pornography. And nothing is more important than God, like: money, TV shows, working overtime, shopping. The mindset is more of being so consumed with God, there is no room for selfishness and temptations. Through walking away from sin – death, we are choosing – life, more abundantly.

On a more personal note, here's part of my story:

I remember the day I decided to give my life to Christ – for Him to do with my life whatever He pleases. I remember being scared, curious, anxious and ready. The life I was living was a result of a lifetime of hurt and pain and bad decisions. I was ready to live my life in a different light. Mostly, I was ready to not live my life the way I had been for so long. I was desperate for something better. I knew that I needed God.
That was one milestone of many. Years later, I realized that I needed a deeper relationship with Jesus. I couldn’t understand why I had such a Hope and Joy inside, and at the same time felt like something was missing. I prayed, I read the Bible, I went to Bible study, I volunteered in my church, but there was still a weight and a sadness that slowed me down. Then Jesus, in a gentle and persistent way, revealed that I needed to let Him all the way into my heart. He revealed the very obvious but very comfortable baggage that I had been dragging around everywhere I went, into every relationship I had, and through which I would feel every emotion. God gave me a new life, but I could not enjoy it completely. I needed to let him in and with my new Best Friend empty my bags one at a time. This was a very painfully reminding yet necessary process. I could have lived a regular life, keeping my familiar baggage hanging on me, but then again, that is not what Jesus died for. He bled, was humiliated, beaten and abandoned so that I could live an abundant life, a life of freedom and joy and fulfillment. He wants you to live the best life possible, a life free of pain, guilt, and anxiety but full of smiles, peace and purpose.